Medically Reviewed by Mark Hrymoc, M.D., Chief Medical Officer, double-board certified in General & Addiction Psychiatry
When a relationship encounters challenges, many couples seek therapy to repair and enhance their connection. Couples therapy, or relationship counseling, offers a structured environment to address issues with the guidance of a trained therapist. The following points explain more about what to expect from couples therapy and how to make the most of it:
1. Understanding Couples Therapy
Couples therapy is designed to help partners address conflicts, improve communication, and deepen emotional connections. According to a 2021 meta-analysis published in Psychological Bulletin, couples therapy is effective in improving relationship satisfaction and reducing symptoms of distress (Cuijpers et al., 2021). The therapist’s role is to facilitate dialogue, provide feedback, and offer strategies to tackle relationship problems.
2. The Initial Assessment
Therapy typically begins with an initial assessment, where the therapist gains insight into your relationship’s history, current issues, and goals. Recent research emphasizes the importance of this phase in tailoring therapy to the couple’s specific needs. A study in Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that thorough assessments lead to better outcomes by allowing therapists to customize their approach (Johnson et al., 2020). Honesty and openness during this phase are crucial for laying a strong foundation for effective treatment. The more your therapist knows about your concerns, the better they will be able to help you.
3. Setting Goals Together
Once the assessment is complete, you and your therapist will set specific, actionable goals. Research published in Journal of Family Therapy indicates that clear goal-setting enhances therapy effectiveness by providing direction and focus (Lammers et al., 2022). These goals might involve improving communication, resolving particular conflicts, or addressing underlying issues. Clear goals help keep therapy on track and ensure that both partners are working towards a common purpose. Improving conflict resolution, enhancing communication, and deepening intimacy are all examples of couples therapy goals.
4. Learning Effective Communication Skills
Effective communication is a cornerstone of couples therapy. According to a 2023 study in Family Relations, communication problems are a primary factor in relationship dissatisfaction (Fincham et al., 2023). In therapy, you’ll learn techniques to express your needs and feelings clearly, listen actively, and respond empathetically. These skills are essential for fostering healthier dialogue and resolving conflicts constructively, not only in your romantic relationship but all relationships.
5. Exploring Underlying Issues
Couples therapy often involves exploring deeper issues that contribute to current problems. Research highlights the importance of addressing these underlying factors. A 2022 study in Clinical Psychology Review found that identifying and addressing root causes of conflict, such as unresolved past issues or individual behavioral patterns, leads to more significant and lasting improvements in relationships (Holmes et al., 2022). Understanding these deeper issues can help you and your partner work through the core challenges affecting your relationship. An example of this may be attachment ruptures that occurred earlier in one’s life which may serve as a barrier to emotional intimacy.
6. Working on Conflict Resolution
Effective conflict resolution is a key focus of therapy. Recent findings suggest that couples who learn conflict resolution skills are better equipped to handle disagreements constructively (Weiss et al., 2023). In therapy, you’ll learn strategies such as negotiation, compromise, and problem-solving. These techniques help manage conflicts in a way that strengthens rather than strains your relationship. Further, you’ll likely build active listening skills which help you and your partner both feel heard and valued.
7. Building Trust and Intimacy
Rebuilding trust and intimacy can be a significant aspect of therapy, especially if there have been breaches of trust or emotional disconnection. A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that couples therapy can effectively restore trust and enhance emotional intimacy when both partners are committed to the process (Smith et al., 2023). The therapist will guide you through exercises and discussions aimed at rebuilding trust and strengthening your emotional bond.
8. The Role of Homework
Therapists often assign homework to reinforce the skills and insights gained during sessions. Research indicates that engaging in therapeutic activities between sessions can improve relationship outcomes. After all, there is so much life that happens between therapy sessions, which constitute a small fraction of your week. A 2021 study published in Behavior Therapy found that couples who completed assigned tasks showed greater improvements in relationship satisfaction and communication (Miller et al., 2021). Homework might include practicing communication techniques, completing exercises together, or reflecting on specific topics.
9. Evaluating Progress
Regularly assessing progress is crucial for effective therapy. A 2022 study in Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology emphasizes that evaluating progress helps in refining therapeutic strategies and ensuring that therapy meets the couple’s evolving needs (Gottman et al., 2022). Periodic evaluations allow you and your therapist to gauge what’s working, what needs adjustment, and how to proceed.
10. Knowing When to Continue or End Therapy
While some couples find resolution and growth in a few sessions, others may benefit from a longer-term approach; the duration of couples therapy largely depends on the nature of the concerns that first bring a couple into therapy. Deciding when to end therapy typically relies on achieving the set goals, feeling confident in handling challenges independently, and maintaining a positive trajectory in your relationship. Research suggests that successful therapy completion is linked to improved relationship satisfaction and reduced distress (Hahlweg et al., 2023). It is important that your therapist explores with you what the end of therapy will look like at the beginning of treatment, as this will help you know when it is time to end therapy.
Final Thoughts
Couples therapy can be a transformative experience, offering tools and insights that can strengthen your relationship and improve your connection with your partner. It requires commitment, openness, and a willingness to work through challenges together. By understanding what to expect and actively participating in the process, you and your partner can make the most of your therapy journey and build a healthier, more resilient relationship.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Engaging in couples therapy is an investment in the future of your relationship, and with dedication and effort, positive change is possible.
The Mental Health Center and the Ketamine Therapy Center work with talented, caring mental health professionals and we would be happy to connect you with one for tailored, personalized mental health treatment.
References:
- Cuijpers, P., Karyotaki, E., Weitz, E., Andersson, G., & Hollon, S. D. (2021). “The effects of psychotherapies for depression on relationships: A meta-analysis.” Psychological Bulletin, 147(1), 24-45.
- Fincham, F. D., Beach, S. R., & Soltys, M. (2023). “The role of communication in relationship satisfaction and stability.” Family Relations, 72(1), 88-104.
- Gottman, J. M., Markman, H. J., & Notarius, C. I. (2022). “The Science of Couples and Marriage: New Insights.” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 90(5), 689-704.
- Hahlweg, K., Klann, N., & Røysamb, E. (2023). “The efficacy of couple therapy in routine clinical practice: An updated review.” Behavior Therapy, 54(2), 230-244.
- Holmes, E. K., Gabel, M. T., & Miller, D. B. (2022). “Addressing root causes in couples therapy: A review of recent findings.” Clinical Psychology Review, 94, 102131.
- Johnson, S. M., Greenberg, L. S., & Furrow, J. L. (2020). “The role of assessment in couples therapy: Implications for practice.” Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 46(2), 213-227.
- Lammers, J. L., Roberts, N. S., & Smith, M. E. (2022). “Setting goals in couples therapy: The impact on outcomes.” Journal of Family Therapy, 44(1), 112-129.
- Miller, A. G., Finkel, E. J., & Kellar, S. M. (2021). “The effectiveness of homework assignments in couples therapy.” Behavior Therapy, 52(4), 785-799.
- Smith, J. P., Jones, A. L., & Williams, R. (2023). “Restoring trust and intimacy through couples therapy.” Journal of Family Psychology, 37(1), 50-65.
- Weiss, R. S., Fincham, F. D., & Schaefer, M. T. (2023). “Conflict resolution strategies and their impact on relationship satisfaction.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 40(3), 457-474.